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There’s a lot of supposedly comical lists made along the lines of “signs you’re getting old” that are full of things like “you leave a gig before the encore to avoid the rush” or “whenever you go somewhere, your first question is ‘what is the parking like?’” or “your idea of festival revolves around craft stalls.”
I had this morning off and ended up in town enjoying a coffee in Starbucks. We all know how nice it is out so I decided to drink it outside. Now I would’ve enjoyed it a lot more if it weren’t for a group of kids that were sat on the bench opposite talking loudly amongst themselves, I found myself thinking “bloody kids” and “why aren’t they in school?”
“Bloody kids” ???!!!
“Why aren’t they in school?”??!!!
That’s it; I’m turning into an old man early. It’s not like they were really young kids either. When I thought about it I figured they’d have to be on study leave for exams which means they’re at least 16 if not older for ‘A’ levels and here I am calling them “kids.” Man did I feel old all of a sudden. Like Victor Meldrew sitting there bitching.
Forget enjoying a nice Sunday walking around a garden centre I think I’m ready for my slippers now. Next thing you know I’ll be commenting that policemen are looking younger and younger.
It did seem like a good idea, it really did. Now though, after some further adventures on a bike I’m starting to think its about as far from a good idea as you can get.
Think about it, somebody who hasn’t been on a bike in… about 8 years deciding to not only ride 54 miles for charity but to make this decision whilst not even owning a bike. As I mentioned in a previous blog on this subject I have acquired a bike – though the state of it was questionable. However, after a bit of routine maintenance the bike now seems up to the job, it’s a shame I don’t seem to be.
Having purchased a helmet (seems there’s no such thing as a hairmet) I went for my first ride a little over a week ago and found the experience less than enjoyable. I know the theory that learning how to ride a bike is one of those things you never forget how to do but I think I came pretty close. It was a slightly wobbly wide to say the least. At one point – as I was riding out towards the country and suffer hayfever – I needed to sneeze and instinctively put my hand to my mouth. Big mistake – nearly wobbled and veered my way into a hedge.
I’ve also discovered I’m not ready for hills at this point. On the first ride I encountered a hill (probably no more than a gently incline) and simply got off and pushed. The second time I got halfway up and the third time – well I didn’t actually bother. The only way I’m managing not to collapse at the mere thought of the big ride itself is the idea that it’s all downhill. Which, apparently it is. Except for 2 huge hills, one about halfway through and one right at the end.
One further discovery this weekend is that riding in the sticky heat of a midday sun is not as fun as it looks. I find myself recalling stories of London marathon runners collapsing from heat exhaustion and wonder how much water I’ll be able to strap to my bike.
Not that I’m worried.
